There is a certain amount of luck mixed with an equal combination of inner wisdom that keeps most of us safe in the world. We see the wet floor ahead of us and we take note that our steps should be more alert and aware. We navigate the twists and turns in our life sometimes quite accurately based on experience and foresight. Then there are those days we have no idea what pitfalls lay ahead and no matter how prepared we are the fall was meant to happen in order to wake us up, shake us up, or just plain misfortune bestowing it’s balanced hand on our shoulders. Sometimes I have slipped and literally felt as if some spirit hand was behind me giving me a push as if to say “wake up girl! Pay attention!”
Equally so, and I am grateful to say more than the latter I am about to slip and the hand I call providence reaches out and roots me to the ground I am on leaving me more steady and secure than I was to begin with.
I have a healthy sense when it comes to nature. I can hike by myself alone in the woods for hours and I can sense another person on the trail long before I encounter them. My senses are fine tuned in the woods or in the ocean and most definitely when my students are around me kicking up into handstand. I have never worried that I may not be able to keep myself safe from harm in most instances.
I dove into online dating with the same bravado and confidence.
As I have said before I have made wise decisions that got me nowhere and foolish choices that brought me boons so when I contemplate my particular set of “Dating Rules” I am still a bit on the fence with regards to any hard pressed bullet points on what or who to avoid. Except to say that I have managed to keep myself out of harms way while meeting complete and total strangers in a plethora of circumstances that outweigh the norm for online dating expectations. I consider this fortunate and not entirely my own devices at play. I believe I get a great deal of support energetically from my spiritual practice and of course my Dolphin fleet of friends and that is my default when I don’t always behave in accordance with my intelligence.
Big Matty Kaine was his name online. His moniker so to speak. I have a soft spot for the young guys and he was young, way too young for me to even be talking to online but I loved that he was a white boy with a hip-hop nickname cause I am a white girl called “Moflygirl” since Junior High. In this way he and I were linked and are tied for eternity. He was a native New Yorker grew up on the upper west side and went to private school’s. We started harmlessly writing to each other over the course of a couple months. I don’t think either of us expected to pursue it. Then he would instant message me when I was online and we started chatting in this way.
He was always rather depressed. An unemployed male nurse who seemed like a lost soul out there in the world. We started to form a kind of friendship.
It’s refreshing when you go online and there all these total strangers and then someone checks in with you and asks how your day is going. I think we both enjoyed the familiarity.
This was back in my sexy summer of dating when I spent a lot of time online and a lot more time dating!
I was online one Sunday night at around 11PM. He and I got to chatting. He reminded me of Eor from “Winnie The Pooh”. He was good natured at heart but if you asked you got a stream of steady current woes. For example, I would ask “How was your date the other night? You cooked dinner for that girl you were crushing on, right?”
He would then launch into the evening and how none of the food came out right and how he was nervous and she was ambivalent and the whole thing was awkward and a mess. “Do you think I should call her?”
I spent a fair amount of time coaching him which I will admit I enjoyed and it wasn’t a one way street either. On those rare off days of mine I would express either I felt down that a date didn’t call me back or something didn’t work out the way I planned and he would always say “I just don’t understand you are so damn beautiful!”
Good therapy!
So, here we are on a rainy Sunday night on instant message and I am feeling impulsive and like a small five year old who just is not getting what she wants when she wants it.
He is complaining (Surprise! My sweet Eor) that he was at the Jersey shore all weekend and didn’t meet a single girl in the height of summer! He is a rather shy guy.
So, I say “Come into the city and meet me.”
Even as I write this over a year later I have to smile, laugh and put my face in my hands.
You can’t take the “Dog-Licker” out of the girl. I have been an impulsive tornado towards love since the day I was born and unless I am mummified or unable to speak my heart will always move faster than my brain.
I am rare with empty offers as a rule but sometimes I unconsciously surmise a situation and with full knowledge that the other person will turn me down I am safe to make an offer which I am not entirely prepared to fulfill.
Big Matty Kaine shocked the smug out of me on this rainy Sunday and said “OK”.
He agreed to drive from the Jersey shore about an hour and a half to meet with me at 1AM.
We got offline and I instantly called Jewel who was out on the west coast visiting relatives. I told her the plan we hatched. I am convinced that if I were on a rooftop preparing to jump Jewel my beloved Best Friend would not try and talk me down she would max out all 20 of her credit cards and rent a giant trampoline for me to jump into.
She takes my impulses seriously...she may be the only one who does.
“You seriously want to do this?” she asked.
“Yes! The guy is already in his car. He’s driving to meet me from New Jersey”.
I think this felt valiant and knightly to me. It cushioned all the blows from guy’s who used rain, work, laundry, cleansing, sheer unadulterated ambivalence to blow me off on numerous occasions. The fact that someone would drive from New Jersey in the rain in the middle of the night? His stature went from Eor to King Arthur in a nano second!
Jewel requested I meet him at her apartment if I intended to go ahead with my plan.
Her logic was that she had a doorman and I could go downstairs and size him up in the presence of another before actually being alone with him in the middle of the night and I was to text her instantly and let her know how things were going.
We agreed on this plan and I got off the phone gave BMK the new address and took a cab to Gramercy.
Upon his arrival I went downstairs to retrieve him.
He was a tall Doogie Houser, lanky, baby faced, and stoned out of his gourd.
The doorman looked at me and then looked at him and the song by Simon and Garfunkal “Mrs. Robinson” should have been playing on high volume. You don’t need wrinkles to be older.
All I needed in this case was a high level of confidence, exuberance, combined with sexual awareness and savvy and it looked as if poor BMK was the one who was terrified by the lioness who might rip him to shreds.
I took him upstairs. He was shaking....he was so nervous! I texted Jewel “Nothing to worry about here!” He took out his phone “Oh, you text messaged me.”
Whoops!
I felt like I should offer him Nutter Butter’s with whole milk and cut his hair.
We sat on the couch and talked for an hour about nonsense.
Then he left.
What can I say? He is one of the many gems I wear on my necklace of online dating.
I adore him! I had to make at least one stupid impulsive move during this enterprise and he was my gift from above all sweetness and shyness and highness.
He is my Royal Hip Hop Lover and I do believe we will meet in another life as equal’s and have a steamy hot passionate connection.
It is with the highest of intention that I wish him the valor and the sweetness of his hearts inner nature so that he may grow to become the Prince of abundance.
Big Matty Kaine is salt of the earth good man material.
I am so glad I met him.
