I begin this entry by saying I am not the greatest authority on cartoons. There were very few cartoon characters that left a strong imprint on me while making my way through adolescence. I am not one who looks back with warm fuzzy feelings for Saturday morning cartoons. I remember “Soul Train” as my greatest Saturday morning inspiration.
So, I lead into this entry that references a cartoon character from 1945 because all you need is “one” folks when it comes to inspiration and he was my Icon from childhood in the cartoon world.
He is a skunk who strolls through Paris in the springtime looking for love, he can’t take “No” for an answer, and he is blissfully convinced that everyone is flirting with him.
He falls for one in particular, Penelope a sweet, demure, shy female. ONLY problem is Penelope is a CAT! She often finds herself accidentally with a white stripe down her back and is mistaken by Pepe as a potential sweetheart.
She talks very seldom and and has a shy personality until she falls in love.
Then she is unstoppable. She enjoys “The Chase”. Despite their differences they wind up together....
Looking back on some of my dating faux pas I have always thought that I have a bit of “Pepe” in me....
I may lack true skunk odor but I do believe my scent is one of someone who is seeking love from an authentic place and to some who are fine tuned to sniff out this odor because they are seeking the opposite it is far more potent than a mere skunk.
I will admit it has taken work to tame my “Inner Pepe”. Equally so it has taken work in choosing the object of my affection and not mistaking a cat with a white stripe for a refined Parisian skunk like me.
I recently met my match in the “Pepe” world and it has awakened me to the possibility that I also bear a bit of an inner “Penelope” as well.
David found me first. He lived in Stanford Connecticut, played tennis rigorously, had a five year old daughter, Jewish and divorced.
I have a soft spot for Jewish men so I canceled out all the other reservations I have about that last statement and went for it.
It had been a while since my last date so I went all out for this one (a bit out of practice).
I had my hair straightened....(white stripe for guy’s in NYC they love it! The equivalent of a paint stripe on your back to a skunk).
We met in a bar for a few drinks, we both had plans after.
One of the first things he said to me after our initial introductions were made was a response to my question “You live in Stanford and work in Stanford, just curious why you date women in NYC?”
He replied, “I would love to date local but it hasn’t worked out for me. See the ratio of men to women in NYC is so swayed in my favor how can I not take advantage? This is the reason a high quality, sexy woman like you is dating a loser like me.”
PEW!
The Penelope in me was awakened. I instantly retracted and became shy and hidden from sight. I could feel my inner power, my sexual exuberance, the inner light I have to lead, direct, call the shots go into hiding.
Like a creature in nature I sought camouflage and it worked just like a white stripe on my back...he loved it!
I played it out because I was curious and I thought seriously and I say this with a sense of inner turmoil to admit this truth. All this time I have been this Fox with shiny teeth out and this guy sees me and admires me for my shyness and vulnerability...maybe that’s better?
He kissed me at the end of the date and I felt ULTRA Penelope shirking underneath his “amour” all falseness and pretense but I went with it because nothing had worked before and this guy was crazy about me....so?
Hard to believe but we had four very unremarkable dates after this one. You can’t say I didn’t try! During these dates I discovered:
*He called his Ex-Girlfriend a dope
*He doesn’t read....at all
*He doesn’t vote
*He resents spending money on women
*He bites his fingernails
The list continues and I must say I obsessed about the reading one.
We were at the movies on our third date and a preview came on for the movie “Twilight” and I admitted to being into it and having read all the books. He concurred but said he saw the movies but that he doesn’t read.
This was a first for me. I will admit in a year of dating where I met someone who knows how to read and chooses not to?
I don’t consider myself a brainiac and in-fact I think David is quite smart.
I remember my Grandmother telling me that reading is a sign of character and just like “Pepe” that imprint lives in my heart and speaks to me.
I couldn’t get past it.
I might live in a city where the odds are in favor for any male chromosome to succeed. That doesn’t mean I have waited, I have been selective, I have refined my behavior and my outlook in order to make ends meet.
Warner brothers have no say here and this is not a Saturday morning cartoon.
This is my life and I have no desire to wake up to a being even one day out of my life who I am not aligned with just for the sake of saying I woke up next to someone.
Here is where cartoon and real world differ.
Whether it smells or it doesn’t smell. Whether the stripe is real or fake. If your heart isn’t in it and you say yes....your working for Warner Brothers and not yourself.
Cause Pepe and Penelope aint real MO-FO.
I want to say this is hard to say but it isn’t...my inner “Pepe” is screaming.
If a person is open enough with you to tell you right off the bat they are “Not the One” no matter how camouflaged the scent you must smell it, you must hear it , you must feel it. Pay the tab and be done. You can skip largely away just like “Pepe” and who knows who you might meet on the way home? In the meantime at least you are skipping largely and your heart is on fire with the taste of possibility and the ease of truth.
Rather than the choice of either pretending the white stripe on your back is real or that the scent of love and affection coming from you is an anomaly.
Let’s really meet our match’s folks....I have to believe and I have beared witness that it is in fact possibile..
